|
|
How To Call A Woman To Ask Her Out
-By David DeAngelo, Author of Double Your Dating
I have a question for you...
When you get a woman's number and you're picking up
the phone to call and "ask her out", does it bother you?
Do you get freaked out?
Do you start thinking about exactly what you're going
to say, how you're going to say it, how to deal with her
rejecting you... etc.?
Do you ever get NERVOUS when you're dialing the phone?
You know that feeling when you just start getting
anxious for no logical reason, and you just CAN'T control
it?
Have you ever had to actually HANG UP because you were
so damn freaked out... and you just couldn't follow through
with it?
OK, now another set of interesting questions...
Have you ever called a woman, and started talking to
her, only to realize that she was in a COMPLETELY different
mood from the last time?
Have you ever had a woman "turn cold" on you all of a
sudden?
It's almost like you're talking to a different person
from the girl you met just a day or two before... and it
makes no sense to you... right?
And finally...
Have you ever worked up the nerve to call, gotten her
on the phone, had a great conversation, but when it came
time to ask her out, you froze up because you didn't know
what to say?
Or even worse, have you ever gotten to the end of the
conversation and asked her out, only to have her answer
with:
"Well, maybe... call me Friday afternoon... OK?"
or...
"Actually, I'm going to be busy all this week, but thanks
for asking... (silence)"
...?
Have you ever had one of those conversations where you
could just TELL that something wasn't right... and that she
wasn't going to be taking you up on your date offer, or
calling you back at all anytime soon?
So why all the problems?
What is it about this particular few minutes of time
that constantly ends in problems for guys?
I personally think that this issue comes down to a few
key DEEPER ISSUES.
And I think that if you don't have these other issues
"handled", you're going to keep running into problems... and
NEVER even know WHY...
...which sucks.
I mean, it's bad enough to keep having a particular
problem and not figure out how to solve it... but the idea
that the solution is in doing something you would never
think of is a little bit maddening.
In other words, I think that this is all about
understanding the problem, and actually PREVENTING it from
coming up... rather than trying to "solve it" in the moment.
Let me put it this way...
If you're dialing the phone, and you're starting to
feel nervous, then it's already too late to solve the
problem.
No quick fix will help you.
Or if you're on the phone with her and you have just
asked her out on a date, and she says "Um, let me call you
back in a few days and tell you"... and you start to get
that sinking feeling because you know she's blowing you
off... IT'S TOO LATE.
There's no "magic pill" at this point.
The answer is PREVENTION.
THE MAGIC FORMULA
So let's take a few minutes and talk about the issues
and what CAUSES them.
Here are some of the "root causes", and how I see
them...
1) Having no other options.
If you're sitting at the phone with ONE phone number
in your hand, and you haven't been out on a date in a long
time, and you are feeling DESPERATE, you're probably going
to get VERY nervous.
When you have no other options, the single one in
front of you becomes VERY valuable.
Translation: You want it TOO badly.
This AUTOMATICALLY triggers your emotional system,
because at some level you realize that if you screw this up,
it's all over. And you know that it's all going to happen in
just an few SECONDS.
The pressure is too much!
2) Putting too much importance on a single girl.
Now, if you have a girl that you've been dating for
six months, and you've decided that she's one in a million,
it makes sense to put a lot of importance on your
relationship with her.
But if you don't know a girl very well, or you haven't
even dated her at all, then you are only setting yourself up
for major disappointment by putting too much importance on
ANY girl.
3) Thinking you need to IMPRESS her.
This is a HUGE issue.
Most men "unconsciously" behave and communicate like
they're trying to IMPRESS the woman of their desires.
When you think about this, it only makes sense... of
course you'd want to impress the woman you like... so she'll
think you're a cool guy and want to be with you.
But have you ever thought for a moment how an
interesting, attractive woman sees it when a guy is TRYING
to IMPRESS her?
Well, here's the INSTANT and UNCONSCIOUS response that
women have:
"He's trying to hard. There's something wrong. This
guy must have something he's trying to hide... and he must
be pretty insecure."
In other words, the INSTANT you do something or say
something that is an obvious attempt at impressing a woman,
her radar system screams:
"WUSSY!"
4) Having expectations and being attached to them.
You might think of this one as a variation of "wanting
it too much"... only slightly different.
When you start getting your hopes and expectations up,
you begin to get ATTACHED to them.
Then you run the risk of HOLDING ON TOO TIGHT to your
little fantasy.
Bad idea.
Women don't date guys who assume too much, act too
comfortable, or fall for them too quickly.
Remember, beautiful women have guys falling for them
left and right.
In fact, they almost EXPECT guys to go out on one or
two dates with them, then say "You know, I really like
you..." and other equally predictable sentiments.
Just like being desperate can destroy your chances
with a woman, liking a woman too much, too fast, and
creating expectations leads to crazy, stupid mistakes as
well.
Now, think over what I just said...
I'm basically saying that if you want to cure the
problem of freaking out when you call women to ask them out,
and the problem of screwing it up when you have that first
conversation and ask them out the first time, then you have
to go INSIDE first... and do some preventative maintenance
on yourself.
And the GOOD NEWS is that this stuff is not only good
for you, it also helps you get even MORE dates with
interesting women.
So here's what to do about this particular problem:
1) Get more options.
If you go out one evening with a couple of friends,
and you meet a REALLY hot girl... and you wind up having a
fun conversation, and getting her number, what should you
do?
RIGHT! Go get at least ONE MORE girl's number. More,
if you can.
This way, when you're picking up the phone to call (or
sending out emails, or whatever), you've got another woman
to call right after her...
In other words, if it doesn't go well, no big deal. No
sweat at all.
Instead of putting all your "hopes" in this one
situation, go get more options... this will prevent many
problems, as well as giving you more women to date!
And think about it... when are you MOST likely to get
a woman's phone number? When are you the most likely to be
in a great mood that actually ATTRACTS women?
Exactly... in the moments after you've already gotten
another woman's number.
So take advantage of this time!
2) Dial the phone expecting it to NOT work out with this
girl.
I have news for you: Most women have something about
their personality, behavior, future plans, etc. that is
going to disqualify them from being good "potential mates"
for you.
Now, I'm not saying that "all women are screwed up",
etc.
What I AM saying is that you need to realize that the
only reason you're freaking out so much is because your
EMOTIONS are running the show.
You need to think about how rare it is that you
actually meet a girl that is COMPATIBLE with you... that
you'd enjoy spending time with even if she wasn’t
good-looking.
If you have this in mind as you're dialing the phone,
you won't have that "I'm desperate" vibe going on.
You won't be talking like a guy who has a gun to his
head, either... which is a good thing... because women get
weirded-out by this kind of thing.
3) Instead of asking a woman out, tell her what you're
doing, and then tell her she can come along if she wants.
Why is "asking a woman out" early on a bad idea?
Because if you don't have a world-class understanding of
male/female dynamics, you're going to come across as a guy
who is trying to use food as date-bait.
In other words, if the first thing out of your mouth
is "I'd like to take you out to dinner" it's going to be
interpreted as "I don't think you're probably going to
accept an invitation to spend time with me unless I throw in
something extra...".
Weak.
And that's how SHE sees it.
The alternative?
Tell her that you're going to be doing something, and
that she should join you.
"Hey, I'm going to go down to Starbucks and get a cup
of tea. You should join me. I'm way more fun than whatever
else you were going to do... and that's a fact!"
Extra bonus points:
Hint that she's missing out if she doesn't accept
immediately.
If she hems and haws, or hesitates... just interrupt
and say "Hey, you're the one who's missing out".
I also like "You know, never mind. I guess you don't
like to have fun...".
Great stuff!
This is solid Cocky & Funny material, and it's the
right time to use it.
You know, I personally used to get VERY freaked out
when calling women for the first time on the phone... and
"asking them out".
Now that I understand this particular "moment in time"
better, and now that I understand more of the "dynamics" of
what's going on, I get MUCH better results personally...
In fact, I never get "nervous" anymore when calling
women, and I rarely if EVER have a woman "flake out" on me.
Now, in this newsletter I've shared a few points to
help you get better results in this particular area. Use
them. They'll definitely help you.
You should read this newsletter right before you call
every one of the next 10 women you meet... in fact.
But as you can probably tell, this is just one of MANY
important facets of success with women.
In fact, this is just scratching the surface of the
skills you'll need if you want to have CONSISTENT success
with the most DESIRABLE women.
The reality of this situation is that if you want to
take control of this area of your life, and not walk
helpless with women anymore, you're going to need to take
more steps to get yourself educated on this topic.
And what's the best way to do that quickly, easily,
and without spending years of time and lots of money
learning the HARD WAY?
My eBook, Double Your Dating.
It will take you step-by-step through all the key
theories, concepts, and techniques you'll need to start
meeting and dating more women starting IMMEDIATELY.
And here's another interesting benefit that comes from
going through my eBook...
It actually CHANGES HOW YOU SEE THE WORLD.
The first time you read it, you'll be hitting your
head saying "Ah ha! Ah ha!" the whole time.
All of those things that have happened to you with
women will start to make sense.
All of the times you screwed up will stop bothering
you, because you'll "get" what happened... and all of the
times that things worked will also make sense.
Of course, you'll also be shaking your head as you
learn some of the most amazing techniques for approaching
women, getting numbers, getting dates, and taking things to
a more "physical level" that have ever been created (For
example, I share some of my own personal favorite "pick up
lines" that work better than anything I've ever heard of for
approaching women... and I don't share these anywhere else
except my audio and video programs and intensive live
seminars).
But one of the REAL benefits comes AFTER you go
through it. This is when the real MAGIC starts to happen.
When you're out at restaurants watching the couple at
the next table, you'll UNDERSTAND what is happening.
When a woman starts doing something subtle that you
would have never noticed before, you'll SEE it... and she'll
SEE that you see it... and you will instantly be talking to
her on a DIFFERENT LEVEL... all because you know something
that most other guys don't.
When you encounter "resistance" or "problems" or
"tests" from women, you will no longer need to get nervous
or upset, because you'll know what TO DO about it... and
when you actually DO the right thing you'll see that problem
disappear.
The point that I'm trying to make is that this
education will not only teach you techniques for meeting
women, it will also give you a new POWER that you never had
before.
I can honestly say to you that if this program were
available five or so years ago when I started learning this
stuff, I would have gladly traded ANYTHING I owned for it...
or paid any amount of money.
But it wasn't, so I had to take YEARS figuring all of
this stuff out for myself.
This eBook is priceless, and it's worth at least ten
times what I sell it for. As you probably know, you can
order it WITHOUT RISK as well.
Order and try it out. If you're not happy, just say
"no thanks" and I'll refund your money. No questions, no
hassles.
I'm that confident that it will take your success with
women to a whole new level.
Click the link below for all of the details, and be
sure to sign up for my free newsletter while you're at it:
Free Dating Tips Newsletter And Download eBook
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Question, or
Comment, follow these guidelines:
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your
question. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great" and
"I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works"
comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the
specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's
working in different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the
subject line of the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell
me where you're from.
5) Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com
...Thanks!
David DeAngelo is the author of "Double Your
Dating - What Every Man Should Know About How To Be
Successful With Women", and has taught thousands of men how
to be more successful with women and dating.
Copyright 2004 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All
Rights Reserved. Double Your Dating and David DeAngelo are
trademarks of David DeAngelo Communications Inc. You agree
to all of the following by accepting and reading this: You
understand this to be an expression of opinions and not
professional advice. It is only to be used for personal
entertainment purposes. You are solely responsible for the
use of the ideas, concepts, and content and hold David
DeAngelo Communications Inc. and all members and affiliates
harmless in any event or claim. If you are under the age of
18, please go to the link at the end of this e-letter to
stop receiving it or send mail to "DDMI" 3960 Howard
HughesPkwy, 5th Floor Las Vegas, NV 89109.
|
|
|
|
